The Final Countdown

yes its on - the final countdown - the last time I will ever be pregnant, the last time I will feel a baby we have created move inside of me, the last time I will get to see my beautiful round belly.

I am trying not to be too sad about it and look at it as the beginning of the next stage of our lives, not entirely succeeding but getting there. I love being pregnant - it is the only time I feel awesome about my body and think I am truly beautiful - love it

I am much more stressed about this birth I have to say, all but one of my previous births were at the same hospital, the place I worked, so I was so comfortable - I knew everyone from the theatre trackers taking me to theatre to the ladies delivering my meals, to the doctors, nurses etc. This time we are in a new place in a hospital I have never been to and know no-one, to say I have had some sleepless night would be an understatement.

Today in recognition of that next stage beginning I had my long hair cut off into a very short style - to me who is pretty much a chicken with these things and worry endlessly about how it will look it is a big step and I am very proud of myself. Its only hair and it will grow is my new motto :)

will post pics soon

Update

I have had all kinds of good intentions to come and blog about the little things that have been happening but as you can see good intention count for nothing :)

So here I am all set to do a quick update, and try to make my stupid pregnant brain think of some of the things I have wanted to say lately

okay firstly, the decluttering has hit a bit of a standstill i think the only things I have to add to my previous list was - 1 pair of jeans re purposed into 4 patchwork cushions and a bag thing for me to put all my unfinished/mending jobs, and 6 books - taking the total number of items decluttered to 60 - not too bad, I think I am pretty much staying on target :)

I have also spent some time thinking lately about things I would like to learn this year and I do have a little list

 - make my own soap
 - basic quilting
 - magic loop method of knitting
 - shirring
 - make my own cheese
 - improve my non-existent gardening skills

I think that that is really enough for 1 year, and I do really hope to achieve all of that, especially since I will be having 4 months off work (hopefully longer), admittedly it will involve mainly caring for a newborn but no work = more time in my book anyway :)

and my last piece of happy news is that I have bought myself a kindle ( ereader from Amazon) and am waiting patiently for it to arrive - should be this week. So I hope to read lots of things, especially about those things on my learning list. Yes I could buy the books and read them but I rarely go shopping for anything other than food for one and for 2 I can't justify the cost of books to very often read once only, not only the environmental impact of printing books etc.

And now to the unhappy things - I am definitely too old for this pregnancy thing, in all 5 of my previous pregnancies I have literally breezed through them with barely an ache or pain, this time however is vastly different - my hips, pelvis and back ache constantly and I am forever tired and unhappy - I feel like I never stop whinging (and I am sure my family feel that too), Yes Yes I know i am still doing it pretty easy compared to some, I don't want to sound ungrateful but this is unchartered territory for me.

This last thought is a biggy - not even sure I can write it down adequately. I am feeling like I have made a mistake with my life. I think I maybe have too many children that I am not doing a good job of parenting, I am not giving them all that they need and want from me and now with another on the way, its only going to get worse. I have a difficult husband ( to put it nicely) who is little to no help a lot of the time and most days leaves me wondering why he wanted children at all. And that's all I am going to say right now, I can't pour my feelings out for one reason or another so will just leave it there for now. I am sure I will be back to examine this topic another time.

oh and a final thing January RAOK - tick that one off :)

no words.......

I can't express how I am feeling about the terrible tragedy that is/has unfolded in QLD in the last 2 weeks or so. This week the unthinkable happened Toowoomba - yes the same Toowoomba 2000 feet above sea level flooded - don't ask me how I do not know. I will never comprehend the things I saw that day - the much published description of inland tsnumai was very very accurate. The worst thing is we were the lucky ones up here, yes there was some heartbreaking loss of life but the real hit was taken by the towns at the base of the range and lockyer valley - what they have endured is just devastating and honestly if it was me I do not know how I would move on from that.
These communities had no warning unlike Brisbane and Ipswich who had days to prepare themselves, these people were swept away in the blink of an eye with not a seconds notice, how is that right, fair or just. I do not know.
The aftermath of the Toowoomba flood ( and many other areas from what I understand) is ridiculous panic buying, people taking everything insight from the supermarket shelves, we had no need or desire to go to the shops, we were confident the roads would be open within a week and guess what, when we did venture out today - 5 days later there was milk and bread in the shop - very limited and god forbid I wanted pasta or butter or the like, but supplies were there. I did buy some milk cos this big fat pregnant woman has the worst craving for milk ( we usually use powdered so milk wasn't an issue for us ).
Apparently petrol is in short supply too, but we haven't needed it yet either. It is much worse up north however with no supplies getting through, I hope the roads open for everyone soon.

on a lighter note - this was in a fraser coast paper in response to someone suggesting people make their own bread - i still can't believe people aren't aware you can actually make it yourself

But I assume it comes out of the oven as one solid mass. How do you then cut it into slices?

really I kid you not

what more can I say after that

feeling special

This is what I received in the mail today - the picture just doesn't do it justice, its beautiful and in my favourite colour too. The catch is I have no idea who it is from the Aus post satchel just said RAOK.

I am feeling awesome which is why i wanted to do some RAOK's myself but someone beat me to it :). I certainly don't feel like I deserve it, despite good intentions I don't feel like I have ever done some nice for someone for no reason. Not something I am particularly proud to admit but sadly its true, in the past I have spent too much time thinking how bad we have it blah blah blah when in reality we are truly blessed and don't really know hardship, suffering or loss. I have never touched someones life for the better or made the world happier but all that is about to change - watch out world :)

So mystery person, THANKYOU, I can't tell you how you have made my day in so many ways. It was just what I needed.

off to a flying start

with the decluttering that is.....

okey dokey so far i have decluttered

12 odd socks from the washing basket
1 old video player
2 bags rubbish/broken toys from the toy room
1 bag assorted kids clothes - probably could've counted them all individually but i did actually do this in 2010 but didn't put them in the donation bin until yesterday
2 pairs jeans - repurposed into a quilt for moo man
8 old/unused toys
26 items from my wardrobe
1 old sheet with holes

total so far = 53/365

so doing well for day 2 of the year

when I get around to getting on the desktop computer I will load up some photos of the quilt I have experimented with out of 2 pairs of old jeans and some scrap material. I am not just chucking stuff out and donating things I also want to repurpose some of the things I have as well - hence trying to make a quilt out of stuff I already had lying around. It would make actual quilters die from the horror of it but it was really experimental and given me an idea whether it is something I would like to do more of and yes I think it is.

Stay tuned for the photos

News years Resolution number 3

ROAK's or random acts of kindness. I am going to aim for 1 a month for 2011. I often sit around feeling sorry for myself and wishing this, that or the other was different but you know what we are truly blessed in so many ways, far too many to count.

So in 2011 by aim is to keep remembering how lucky we are by giving to those who might be doing it tough

anyone want to join me in this challenge and try to make the world a happier place for everyone

and PS - the decluttering has begun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Years resolution number 2

okay probably not so much of a resolution but a challenge.....My challenge for 2011 is to declutter 1 item per day, so 365 items for the year.

Anyone wanna join me in this, not only will we feel good about how uncluttered our house will be but also by donating/regifting/recycling or repurposing the item will be will doing our bit for the less fortunate and the environment

And as a disclaimer, this was NOT my idea, I wish it was, but I read about it on a forum i like to read http://downtoearthforums.com/forum.php

anyhoo I will try to keep a record of how I am going on here, so feel free to play along with me and we can keep each other motivated